What Are We?
My first attempt at something that wasn’t Klaine or Jogan.
Hopefully I don’t scare the Chustin tank too much with my atrocious writing…
Alsooo I’m not accustomed to writing angst. Sorry if it’s awful. ^^;
[Also I accidentally enabled answers… Anyone know how to disable it?]
“What are we?”
Charlie closed his eyes and took in a deep shuddering breath.
It was a beautiful August day. He was sitting in the grass with his hands on the ground behind him, his upper body leaning back. The sun was warm and pleasant on his skin, and the world seemed to radiate happiness.
All of the world but him, because whatever he was feeling, it was not happiness.
“Do we have to have this conversation?” he whispered.
“Yes, Charlie. It was fine before. Before, we didn’t have to know. But I’m about to leave for England in a week’s time for a marriage I don’t want to go through with, and you are about to go halfway across the country to college. Tell me, Chaz. What. Are. We.”
This was so damn hard.
The truth was, he didn’t know what they were, and he didn’t even know what he wanted them to be. The last year had been nice… They’d stolen kisses behind closed doors, brushed each other’s hands countless times, whispered conversations in the dark…
And all the while managed to never talk about what they were doing.
Were they still best friends, or more than that now?
Could he really forget everything in the past year and go back to what they had once been?
They’d gone too far for him to know anymore.
There was really only one thing he was sure about, one truth in his heart that he believed in, and that was the only thing he could never tell the other person.
If he ever admitted it to anyone, even himself (especially himself), he didn’t think he would be able to deal with the consequences.
No, it was better off this way. Better off to send away a part of his heart that believed a lie than to suffer through more pain than was necessary.
“Us? Now? Now, Justin… Now we’re strangers.”
He heard the sharp intake of air, and yet he didn’t dare to open his eyes; the expression of pain that he was sure would be on Justin’s face would be enough to chip down the wall he had carefully built around his emotions.
“… So be it.”
It hurt Charlie to hear Justin’s voice be so cold, so unfriendly.
But this was for the best.
After all, Justin couldn’t stay in America forever… And this way, it would be easier for Justin to move on.
And if Charlie never did, well, who would ever know?
“Good bye, Charlie Amos.”
“Good bye, Justin Bancroft. It was… It was nice knowing you.”
An understatement of the grossest proportions, but Charlie would never admit it.
And then to his surprise, he felt warm lips brush against his.
He didn’t even have time to open his eyes before they were gone.
“Please don’t forget me, Charlie, as I will never forget you.”
And at last, he could sense that he was alone.
What made you think I would, Justin?
Tears escaped closed eyelids.
In the years to come, when Charlie finally married and had children, he would forever regret what he never said. What he should have said.
I love you.