my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. they are tectonic plates. follow for more geological humour.
i really hope the two people who just followed me aren’t looking for geological humour or you are going to be earth-shatteringly disappointed
this post is one of my best by a landslide
DONT DROP THAT GPA, AYYE! DONT DROP THAT GPA
If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family
Stop reblogging my failure
gundam couldn’t address sonia as a superior because that’d fuck with his schtick so he treated her like an underling like everyone else…sonia only ever wanted to be treated like everyone else so she sought him out to spend time with…gundam wanted someone to pay attention to him so he welcomed her presence and have her a fancy bullshit title so she would be his equal in his incessant larp…she thought the bullshit he spewed constantly was interesting…THEYRE LOSERS WHO THINK ONE ANOTHER ARE THE COOLEST PEOPLE EVER……
WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD
easy there henry
whos henry what thef uck?
*faint laughter from Britian*
Anonymous asked: can you do Remus headcanons too?
- He was the tallest of the Marauders until James and Sirius hit their growth spurts in 4th year.
- He oozed sarcasm.
- He was generally the “quietest” of the group, but he was always the one with the quickest and wittiest remark and it would sometimes surprise people and Sirius, James and Peter would stand behind him grinning appreciatively. Sometimes his comebacks were so good people found themselves slow clapping without even realizing it.
- His school uniform was always straight and orderly for classes but the second he was done with dinner he would untuck his shirt and loosen his tie and undo all the buttons on his sleeves and sigh in contentment.
- He loved sweaters and had a collection of ugly ones because “they tickled him.”
- He cried when he laughed really hard.
- He would sigh really loudly if someone said something incredibly stupid.
- Being a werewolf caused him to be a few degrees warmer than everyone else (baby Harry loved this but that’s a whole different list of headcanons).
- He had really long fingers and eyelashes.
- He was the best of the Marauders at not getting caught and managed to get away with a surprisingly low amount of detentions in comparison (less than 10 in all 7 years).
- He could draw well.
- He got an unfortunate amount of headaches.
- His hair was always a rats nest when he woke up and he didn’t even bother with it on Sundays.
- He had absolutely no idea how to respond when a girl was flirting with him and was often completely oblivious to it.
- If someone said something funny and it caught him off guard he would do this squeaky giggle and was always embarrassed when he did so naturally it became a thing to try and make Remus giggle.
- He mastered the puppy dog eyes.
- He generally did a good job staying calm when he was angry but on the rare occasions he blew up it was scary to be around because it was so surprising to see him like that.
- He and Lily always got on well, becoming really good friends in 5th year. He was also one of the first people to realize Lily fancied James.
- He practically inhaled his food (I could say he wolfed it down but…). Everyone else would be on their third bite and his plate would already be clear.
- He slouched terribly.
- His smile made girls sigh.
- He would grin and skip around like a child when he was proud of himself or excited about something.
- The pranks he came up with were ironic and incredibly clever.
- He always won Exploding Snap. Always. Eventually people didn’t even want to play it with him anymore.
- Dumbledore liked to check up on him regularly and would invite him to his office for a cup of tea.
- He almost always finished his homework the night he got it and Sirius, Peter and James teased him for it but Remus always made a big show of lounging around and yawning widely while they were all rushing to get everything done last minute and they’d eventually start throwing things at him to get him to piss off.